June 4, 2010
We’ve all heard the expression “Dog and Pony Show,” but have you ever wondered where it originated? If you’re anything like me, you probably guessed it started with some kind of circus act or traveling show that went from town to town and featured a dog and pony. Makes sense, right?
Well, if you thought that, you’d be dead wrong. The original dog and pony show was a truly gruesome affair that had its start in ancient Sumeria. It was actually a horrific blood sport, believe it or not, a battle to the death to appease an ancient pagan goddess who was half-canine, half-equine. (Which half was which has been lost in the sands of time.)
Not so bad, right? At least the combatants in the blood sport weren’t human, right? Wrong! The fighters pitted against each other were actually people dressed in costumes meant to look like dogs and horses. The dog-people were drawn from the ranks of Sumerian canine-worshippers who literally lived like dogs, roaming around on all fours, going to the bathroom in the street, chasing cats and chariots. The horse fighters were drawn from a sect who revered horses as gods and spent their days tending the horses as grooms and servants.
The dog people and horse worshippers were thrown into a coliseum-like stadium and forced to fight each other to the death. The winner dined on the loser’s entrails, then paraded around the kingdom for days on a kind of victory tour, striking down any animals that resembled his or her defeated opponent. It was a cruel and bloody festival, but the half-dog/half-pony goddess was said to find favor with the kingdom because of it.
So, you see, the expression “Dog and Pony Show” does not merely refer to some overblown spectacle. In its proper context, it refers to an event that is truly brutal and senseless, one in which the loss of life is matched only by the pleasure of the spectators who revel in it. The true meaning of “Dog and Pony Show” has nothing to do with a cute poodle in a tutu dancing around under a circus tent with a pony wearing a magician’s turban and cape.
That circus-type scene can better depict another common expression in today’s popular slang, one which also has a context nothing like the meaning we think of in association with it. This expression, Clusterf—, actually has nothing to do with a group of people screwing things up in a big way. The story behind the story begins eighteen thousand years ago in the caves of Lascaux, France…
