February 28, 2009
When I woke up this morning, I had big expectations. Hitting my 1200-word goal was just one part of what I thought I’d be accomplishing. I also envisioned myself working on my outline for the current novel, working on marketing-related issues, working on my tax return, and reviewing a document I have to get done for my day job (a 37-page quarterly report). Now I sit, at the end of the day, and I’ve done none of the above. Instead of hitting 1200 words, I barely managed to squeak past 500. Instead of my planned tasks, I spent the day on one sidetrack after another. One surprise after another. The day ran between my fingers like a handful of sand, escaping all the faster as I tried to hold on to it. The worst moments came tonight, when I finally cobbled together an hour to write…and I hit the damn wall. Just couldn’t move on with it, and I knew it, and it made me sick. There’s nothing worse to a writer than to build up a streak, work hard for many days toward a goal, and then suddenly drop the ball. It’s like choking on the golf course or basketball court. It makes me feel like a failure.
The key is, I need to remember that days like this are bound to happen from time to time. They’re out of my control in most cases, and they don’t signify an overall failure of me or my process. Sometimes, the best thing to do is cut bait and move on to the next milepost…in other words, give up for the night and move on to the next day, when I can have a fresh start.
I also have to realize when the time has come to adjust my schedule. I think that time might be upon me now…not for a major adjustment, but enough of one that my work becomes manageable. Because I’ll tell you, I’ve been stressing out a little too much lately with the increased word count goals, etc.
Now for today’s travel photo. This one’s a shot of me at Strawberry Fields in New York City’s Central Park from March 1986. John Lennon is a favorite artist of mine in many ways, and this visit was something of a pilgrimage. See you tomorrow!
Central Park, New York City, 1986
